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AN ILL-CONCEIVED PLAN NEVER EVEN GETS
OFF THE GROUND IN WINCHESTER, PA.

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We are no one. But George Washington was someone. So what if, on our way through Winchester, PA, we stopped at George Washington’s old office and tried to call Obama from there. Surely the Whitehouse has caller ID, and one can imagine a call from George Washington might carry serious weight. Yes, there are some obvious flaws in the logic. For instance, neither Brian nor myself can do a colonial accent. Plus if they quizzed us, like, “Which foot did you have propped up on the gunwale of the boat when you were crossing the Potomac?,” we would’ve had to go on Google Images to see that it was the right foot, and the ensuing pause would surely tip them off. Anyway, we thought it would be fun, but the person who worked at the tiny facility didn’t think it would be fun at all, so the plan never really got off the ground.

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